My current situation is quite unfortunate. I live in Texas, arguably the second worst state to be trans in (the first being Florida). Just a little over a year ago, Texas passed Senate Bill 14, which prevents minors from recieving any form of gender affirming healthcare. This includes puberty blockers and hormones.

Our government is ruled by transphobes that don't know and don't care how much harm they are doing to innocent youth, simply to uphold thier cruel beliefs about trans people that is only further twisted by the media. In thier eyes, transgenderism is nothing but a mental illness that needs to be eradicated. And yes, Gender Dysphoria is technically a mental disorder. But the cure is gender transition! By denying access to the resources required to transition, KIDS ARE KILLING THEMSELVES BECAUSE OF IT. The people who make these rules are murderers. They think that gender dysphoria can simply be overcame with conversion therapy, even though again and again it is proven not to be effective at all (not to mention the that some of the practices used are just straight up abuse). These people are evil. And yet they make us out to be the bad guys.

I hate Texas. The one reason I had to come out was to be able to medically transition, but now that the government has banned it, there is nothing I can do. I'm stuck in the closet. I still would like to come out to my familly, because if they accepted me, I would be a lot happier. Not to mention that I do school online, which in theory should make coming out a whole lot easier! But there are two main reasons why I can't.

First of all, my dad is transphobic. He raised me with so much internal transphobia, that it took years of living in denial before I accepted myself as trans. I could've spent those years on puberty blockers. I could be so much happier right now. But instead he poisoned me with his hateful ideology, and it took wanting to kill myself to end up realizing that he was wrong.

Secondly, I have a job now. I work as a coding instructor, and so I get to teach younger kids how to code! It's a job I genuinely enjoy. And yet it's a job I wouldn't be able to have if I came out as trans. I mean technically my work has a non-discrimination policy, but there are two reasons why that won't apply. One, my manager is a Christian, and I'm worried she might be transphobic because of it. No way to know for sure I guess, but yet another risk to coming out. But the real reason I can't come out with this job is the simple fact that I work with kids. I love working with kids! They're fun, silly, energetic, and they don't judge (most of the time). But unless I am in a position where I am able to safely pass, I am afraid I will be seen as a creep and a werido for being around children. Living in a state like Texas, with the media portraying trans women as monsters, and now Ava Kris Tyson making all trans women look bad, things aren't looking up for me being able to come out any time soon.

So I can't come out to most of the people I know in real life. So what do I do? Make a website. Lol. I wish I could just come out online altogether, but I can't even do that. I post my games online for others to see, which includes family and coworkers (Putting those games on my resume is what got me a job. I wouldn't have been able to do that is I was publicly trans on that account). So instead, my transness is reserved for this little website. It's a little scary knowing that I am publicly out in some place, but I don't think it'll be discovered by my parents or coworkers. Besides, for my own mental health, I need somewhere that I can just be me, and not have to worry. So I hope you enjoy my website, as much as I have enjoyed making it! :)

Who knows, maybe some things will change and I will be able to come out sooner than I think. I really hope so.